I want change! Every person I work with wants it, they wouldn't seek me out otherwise. But the thought of it, the mere mention of the WORD instills fear in the strongest and smartest of us. Getting a gameplan and guidance to help you with them is key. You need to set yourself up for success! For me, I'm trying to get my "tribe" togegther. It's a motley crue of age, gender, cultures and backgrounds which all lend some sort of strength to my whole. They offer areas of strength and knowledge in which I lack, and vice versa! Not that I expect those in my life to GIVE to me, it's a mutual exchange of acceptance and love. Boy, does that sound sappy or what?! But, for real, I am very grateful for every person I am blessed to know and love. I love learning from other peoples' experiences, both good and bad.
I never thought of myself as one who needed a specific date or event to begin a change. I've always been one who kinda eeeeeased into changes, okay, I'm lying. After TRULY reflecting on times of profound change that I've made for myself in the past, it's been by diving in headfirst, no dipping of toes in the tides. I am leaping again!
I headed into a big challenge at our gym...again. The last two I did surprisingly well at! I was so surprised the first time that as the winners were being announced, and when I saw those who were heading to stand on the podium placements, I figured there was NO WAY I would be up there- comparing myself to those ladies. So, I went over to the food table and grabbed myself a Paleo cookie. (There is a whole other issue with this picture, which will be a future topic!) My mouth was full of gooey cookie deliciousness when my name was called!!! What the what?! Every triumph picture was one of me trying to get all the coconut flakes outta my teeth!
The stakes are MUCH higher, in many ways, in this current challenge. I am finding that those thick, grimy, bottom-of-the-barrel emotional layers are finally visible. Instead of looking at them, freaking out and running away I am committed to finally being done with all of this! Done with the guilt, the self-doubt and -hatred, D-O-N-E!
So, bring it on, I can take it. I know I'm sore and weak in some of these areas, but I AM GONNA F-ING DO THIS!
And, so it begins...
Notice the sucking of the teeth?! Grandma would be so proud...geesh!
Lesson: keep away from the food table, and believe in myself-
I just may surprise me:)
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